Since it is now the day after the special holiday for lovers, I thought I would talk about how hard it is to not have a Valentine and face the prospect that I never will have a Valentine. Valentines day is a very special time of year for most people. It is a time to celebrate their love for their spouse or significant other who also loves them. Not all people with Aspergers are unable to get a date but with impaired social functioning, there are some who don't get to be with someone and I'm one of the unlucky ones.
Imagine being inundated with several commercials about getting your loved one a gift but you don't have a loved one. It is hard enough to be lonely but even worse to face a holiday that is a holiday for the majority of people who have a significant other that loves them but for you, you are unable to participate. It becomes a time where you get depressed thinking of what I am missing out on. Most people take for granted cuddling with a loved one or having someone to enjoy your life with but people like me would love to enjoy this but it simply isn't an option for us. A person I know at work gives his woman a full body massage. I wish I could have a women who would let me give her a massage. I can't give a loved one a kiss or enjoy a movie with her because no such woman exists. Nothing brings more happiness than knowing someone out there loves you and cares about you and nothing brings more pain than being lonely and realize you will never have someone and deal with being hated by people instead.
I would love to have a romantic dinner or give a gift to a woman who loves me but I am unloved by women. What makes me sick is that there are men out there who treat women like crap who are loved by women but not me. I would love to have some romance in my life but it just isn't an option for me. It almost a basic need for me to be with a woman and I'm tired of being lonely but guess what? I will be lonely for the rest of my life! Even people like Ted Bundy had women who loved them but there isn't any women who will even consider me as a choice! I really wish you can die of loneliness but unfortunately you can't.
It's like I'm a reject and I've always wondered why I was even placed on this earth. I assume I was placed on this earth as a person for others to ridicule. It is a reason that I no longer believe in God. After all the hardships I have faced in life and all the hardship I will continue to encounter, I have been hurting and if there really was a God, it would be safe to say he isn't anywhere near the God that I learned of in Church. He is made out as someone who cares for the suffering. God sure has helped the people in Haiti recover from the earthquake they had over a year ago right? Prior to the earthquake they were suffering from poor living conditions and the earthquake made things much worse. Sure the earthquake has resulted in people donating to Haiti but a lot of the money didn't even make it to the victims who are suffering and the people of Haiti will still be facing poor living conditions!
&ngsp; People who have never had Aspergers and are not outcasts in some way don't grasp the situation at all. It bugs me when people say "don't worry, you're a nice guy and will make some woman happy." Really? If that were the case then why hasn't a single woman had any interests in me? Contrary to what people believe, there are people out there who have too many defects and are unable to be loved by others. There is a lot of competition for love and there are people who were born with too many defects and not attractive enough to be chosen as a potential mate. I use to actually believe the claim by people who made this comment that I'm a nice guy and will make some woman happy but I failed to realize that this is the common phrase people say to people who are lonely as a way to try and make them feel better. There really isn't someone for everyone! If that were the case, there would be exactly the same population of men as women when in reality, there are nearly twice as many men as women worldwide!
In closing, I want to let people who have a loved one that they should be thankful since not everyone has a loved one. Please don't make fun of the lonely people out there, they didn't choose to be an outcast who cannot have friends. They want to be a normal person just like you are! Don't take your loved one for granted, there are people out there who don't have a loved one who would really enjoy trading places with you.
